Is This a Me Problem or a We Problem?

Why do people move to NYC?
To be in an episode of SUV.
To live at the top of the Empire State Building
So they can become Italian
So they can become Jewish
Crime is legal

What's in Staten Island
Jimmy John’s
Italian ISIS
Italian Ice
(Tony Soprano voice) Aysh-ish (that’s him saying “ISIS”)
Snails, frogs, the such

Why have I not had sex in 3 years?
I kissed a girls self harm scars and asked her if she would stop for me
“The Costco Incident”
It's taken me these last few years to perfect the perfect gnocchi recipe

What did I just see on the subway?
King Leopold the 3rd
I think that was Mr. Bean