One Paul, Two Paul, Red Paul, Dead Paul
We here at KingIsle Entertainment are here today to answer some questions about our new triple A spectator Road to Paul: Retribution. This novel video game is a third person shooter with a twist! The game is based on the life and everyday routine of three time Critic’s Choice Awards actor Paul Giamatti; Giamatti, voiced by Nolan North, must navigate the turbulent waters of Hollywood life if he is to beat the game.
“Why does every NPC have Paul Giamatti’s face?"
-IGN
In a bold artistic decision, we have decided to have every NPC have the face of Giamatti, to represent Paul’s battle with his inner demons as he tries to hone his skills as an actor and director. North repeatedly says, “your greatest rival is yourself.” Also, it turns out that programming facial animations takes a lot of time and money. Unfortunately, we prioritized the advertising campaign and the purchase of rights to use Giamatti’s face, name and likeness, as well as other Hollywood figures, to avoid being sued by depraved media executives.
“My day would've been a lot better if I hadn’t seen Paul Giamatti having sex with another Paul Giamatti with boobs."
-Game Explorer
As for the game itself, we are happy to announce that there will in fact be in-game interactive sex scenes, complete with the varying shots of Giamatti’s sweaty face throughout the sequence. While we could not get Giamatti to do the motion capture for the scenes, we are happy to announce that Owen Wilson was willing and able to record sound effects. Each delicious, sensual moment is punctuated with WIlson’s classic, “Wow!” Game on!
“Why is every player in the battle royale mode called Paul Giamatti?"
-The Verge